Winter
by kim-06
Summary: Sometimes, the facade is way different from what it seems to be... Especially if you're trying to disguise... You know, the normal Will Shinichi Ever Come Back thing I suck at summaries.
1. Depression

Winter

* * *

Everyone has their own sufferings, their own trials, but somehow, people go through it… Though the snow-covered city seemed so pure and so calm, this city is, believe it or not, full of problems. 

As people say, there is always a false face that everyone—and everything—has to go through.

Like winter, which seems to look so wonderful, is in reality, just a death weapon of the skies…

Though that is, the plants, the animals… They aren't dead, but asleep, rather; unable to move because of the snow, but rather, able to live because they have something to make them live—it seems like a mechanism; this is done annually, but then again, it could be food (most likely), or for us human beings, it is…

…Somebody to love…

* * *

She hid under her blankets, yet she was still shivering. She can't sleep, so she looks outside the window and sees her part of the city covered in snow; the marvel, the beauty that most people come to cherish, if there was something to cherish about winter. Somehow, just standing like that didn't make her feel so cold, even if she didn't have anything on her except her pajamas and her sweater. She still continued to admire how the snow could stay so tranquil like that; she wished she was calm and cool-headed and not hotheaded like herself. 

She would never know, though, whether or not he would come back, whether or not he would make it alive. Form the looks of it, this case seems like his hardest to solve; she just hopes that this particular case isn't life threatening. Even as she encouraged herself, _no, Shinichi isn't about to die_, she can't help thinking that his last call was months ago, and that Shinichi was already dead. She cried every other night just thinking about him, acting somehow, un-Ran-like as she usually is these days. She seems to be so… Quiet… She seems like she was never going to be her old self again.

For she never knew the outcome of what is to happen, she just thought of leaving it be; _Shinichi is better than that_, she thought. Somehow, she still cried every single night of her life, and yet she stopped crying, for someone there had showed her how to keep on living. That someone that comforted her every single night that she was more an older brother to her than a little brother; after all, he did think older than his age, right?

But no. Much as she hated it, Shinichi was not Edogawa Conan. Shinichi shrinking was just impossible.

When she was too tired to even recognize if it was Conan or Shinichi anymore, she just cries on his shoulders, hugs him, whispering Shinichi's name over and over.

Somehow, she wishes that she isn't this soft about Shinichi… Somehow, she just wishes that Shinichi was just like any other person, but…

…But Shinichi was _special_. Why was he though? He was arrogant, and besides, he was _never_ there when she needed him most. All he did was _call_, and besides, he didn't call anymore, but _why?_

Most probably it was because…

* * *

Conan was worried; ever since winter officially started, Ran has been acting strangely. 

Whenever he would try to sleep late at night, he would hear some sobbing over at the other room. He went to the other room and opened the door, only to see Ran hugging her knees and crying out, _Shinichi!_

Conan could not do anything but to hug her; it was the only thing he could do with this midget body of his. He tries comforting her, and yet nothing happens—until a few seconds later, when she is too tired to notice that the person that she was hugging was not Shinichi, but Conan… Little Conan Edogawa, and nothing more.

About an hour after Conan went inside the room, he goes out. When he was finally at his bedside, he cries, too, for he alone was the cause of his beloved to cry; he was the cause of Ran's suffering at the present.

Conan finally drifts to sleep, but before he even fell asleep, he somehow manages to mutter, _I'm sorry, Ran… I can't… Because if I do… You will have to go through danger, and I truly don't want you to go through that…_

…_I love you, Ran…_

_

* * *

_

A/N: Kinda sucky, huh? Oh yeah! I just found out that begging for reviews are impolite, so I won't. So, happy reading!

By the way, I know that this isn't exactly the nicest story ever, but then take into consideration that I am just a first-timer, so you get it.

Look out for the next chapter! (I've changed my ways; I now have deadlines for my stories!)


	2. The Christmas Card

Winter

Chapter Two: The Christmas card

Sometimes, one greets 'Merry Christmas', but do they really mean it? Even criminals already in jail would greet the police officers 'Merry Christmas', as they all feel the cheer that Christmas has to bring.

Christmas is a Christian holiday, hence the root word _Christ_. This holiday obviously signifies the birth of Christ, a supposedly cheerful and happy day.

In the present time, though, children are being taught wrong. As of now, children await their Christmas presents, rather than actually celebrate what this holiday really means. As for the parents, they just want to get a rest from work. Today, people celebrate not Christmas but the facade of Christmas.

* * *

The usually cheerful atmosphere of the holidays awaited the household of the Mouris, but unfortunately, none of them was too happy.

Ran was at the hospital for depression treatment. Conan and Kogoro, on the other hand, were worried sick about Ran. No cases came in, since most probably even the criminals wanted to spend some happy time to themselves, and about half of the Police Force was on holiday.

After about three hours of waiting, the doctor came out of the examination room, explaining everything to them. Conan didn't pay attention, though; he was too busy looking at Ran. The only parts that he paid attention to was that Ran was in a very severe case of depression, which, if not treated soon, will cause her to have amnesia. Not a serious one, though; the only part of her memory that will be erased will be the one she doesn't ever want to remember, the face of the only one she will not want to remember...

"_Shinichi Kudo_," Ran whispered.

"What's that, Miss?" The doctor asked.

"_I want to forget all about Shinichi Kudo_," Ran said, a little louder this time.

Conan was shocked. That was something he never expected to get. Ran wanted to forget all about him, or rather, Shinichi Kudo. Conan realized now that it would take forever for the counter-antidote to be made. Ever since he was Edogawa Conan, he realized that Conan is different from Shinichi, in so many ways as he was similar to him.

If Ran was that depressed about Shinichi, he would find the cure himself. Haibara was taking too long.

He just hopes that he can get that cure in time, or else...

...Or else he'll lose Ran to himself...

* * *

The threesome went back to the office, with Kogoro muttering and cursing how the _stupid_ detective could make his daughter that sad.

Ran went to her room and took a nap. Several hours later, she woke up with Conan there and a gift on the corner, covered in red paper. There was a card beside it, too.

"Hey, Ran-neechan, what's that?" Conan asked. He might as well be an actor than a detective; he was a natural!

"This? Must be a gift for Christmas. It's originally a Western holiday, you know. Alright; bring your gifts here, there's one from me in that pile, and we'll open them together! How does that sound?"

"Sounds great!" Conan said, once again acting like the little kid he really is (or rather, supposed to be). He ran to his room, grabbed the pile, and ran back to Ran's room, as he has his own plans to cheer Ran up.

"Alright. Let's open them!" Ran said in a (somehow) fake smile.

Conan opened the one from Genta first. Chocolate. _Ah, that tubby's always food!_

Ran opened a gift from Sonoko (or rather, gifts from Sonoko), in which were a few clothes, a few shoes, jewelry, and just about things that Sonoko Suzuki could afford!

Conan opened the other gifts, a book each from Mitsuhiko, Ai, and Ayumi. They really knew what Conan would like; Holmes. Of course, Ai got Conan the more complicated one.

Finally, the gift from Ran. Once again, it was a book, but for some reason, it was something Ran would give to Shinichi, not Conan.

"Ran-neechan, hy'd you get me a book that's way above my reading level?"

"Oh... Gomendasai; I don't really know what you like, but you seem to be a lot like Shinichi, with mysteries and stuff," Ran sat down beside Conan, "That was supposed to be his gift from me, but then, I don't think I could give it to him, you know?"

Conan smiled slyly as he exclaimed, "Ran-neechan, try opening the gift you just saw! It might be from Shinichi-neechan, right?"

"Yeah, right... I bet even on holiday he's still on a case!" Ran said, as she read the card. As she read the sign-off, her face dropped, "Or maybe not," she whispered.

"What's in the letter?" Conan asked.

"Nothing that a little boy like you should know," Ran said, "Now I'm making dinner. You go read some books of you like, or watch TV. It's too late to go out to Professor Agasa's anyway."

With that Conan obeyed.

* * *

As all of the people in the office drifted off to sleep, there was no moaning, no crying. Just a peaceful sleep from Kogoro, Conan, and even Ran.

What was in that letter, you ask?

That's Ran Mouri's little secret.

* * *

A/N: This is very disappointing, I know. I'm presently doing a rewrite. I just posted this so you can get an idea on how it's supposed to go. I promise (that) the next chapter's going to be more promising! Ja! 


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